Startups Are Not Family.

You might have heard this phrase from a lot of founders either in the media or in their townhalls saying that “We are a family, that loves working together”.

I disagree, and I believe this phrase is not only overused but also used without really thinking it through.

Founders often reference “family” with a good intention of building the culture of working together & celebrating each other’s success. But the moment there is a failure from performance, all hell breaks loose and the word ‘family’ loses its sheen.

I understand why “family” sounds like a culture you’d want to cultivate, especially compared to the bigger corporates that are filled with hierarchy & politics, and young folks wanting to have a lot more ownership and learn at their work, believe in this concept too.

In a startup, employees often go out, watch movies, play sports, or vacation together. On a Friday, you could even find people in the office drinking beer and having fun. People bond. You can feel that warm, cordial atmosphere. The place sure looks familial. But come a financing crisis and the company needs to save cash, the same people who are called family members are let go without thinking twice of their financial obligations.

If you are a founder and you call your team a family, I have the following questions for you?

• Do people give up on their families?
• Do families let go and dissuade people if they don’t perform or do they help them to get better no matter what it takes, which sometimes means taking on a financial burden as well?
• Do families differentiate people based on the work they do?
• Do families let go of a member of a family if they have an accident & become a burden on their financial system?
• Don’t families invest in their kids without any hope of an ROI?
• Do family members leave their existing families because another “family” gives them Better opportunities, More happiness, More money, More learning? Wouldn’t you leave your family?
• Would you sell out your family because you aren’t able to manage them anymore?
• And in case, you did sell for a profit, should you be the only one who gets the largest share of the sale? Didn’t everyone put in an equal amount of time & effort? Probably more than YOU did!
• Should the rest of the members of your family get some minute percent of the sale, while you get a lions’ share just because you started the family & been the head of the family for a while?
• Should you be able to afford to buy a Lamborghini while your family members could only afford ‘fuel’ for the Lamborghini?

These questions above aren’t really to say that you don’t deserve to make more money than the rest of your team, but for you to just introspect on the idea and the culture that you are propagating by referring to your startup as a family, but while in the true sense, you are a sports team!

Here’s why I think a Sports team analogy is way better than a “Family” reference.

• Startups are businesses, they are set up to make profits, and not with a goal to grow & survive together like a family. Your goal of the company is to run a goddamn business that makes profits for your team members, investors & yourself!
• No matter how good someone is, you wouldn’t hire them if they don’t fit into your team, especially if they break the culture & spew negativity. Distant family members aren’t really known for that, isn’t it!?
• An individual will be part of your team if he/she can help the team win or at least help the team move closer to the goal. If they aren’t, you would ideally let go of them.
• Just like in a sports team where the best performer gets paid the most, the best performer in your team is also probably getting a higher salary than the rest. Sometimes maybe for the seniority & the experience, which they bring to the table.
• When you get old and /or aren’t able to perform at your peak, you aren’t part of the team anymore, the system slowly gets you out, unlike a family. There are so many references around us! Sachin Tendulkar & MS Dhoni aren’t in the National team anymore!
• You are the captain of the team, only until the ship is afloat, and you are able to keep it afloat. The moment the investors realize that the boat is incapable to survive with your leadership, you would be asked to step down, and someone else will be brought on board, just like a sports team!
• Just like a sports team where new talent keeps coming in to replace the old and rusty, startups as well, are always on a lookout to get new talent on board that can think beyond the regular purview.
• Like in the NBA, When an athlete is offered a higher value for his time & effort by a competing team & is presented with better opportunities he would take it up, no matter how strong the bond has been with the previous team members. Just like in the startup world, where the head hunters are always looking to poach your best talent! After all, everyone is in the game to make a living from the money they earn.
• Just like athletes who have a limited number of peak years under them, where they perform the best and be the highest paid, even the entrepreneurs & their employees have a limited number of years, albeit, the number of years might be higher but the peak performance is always during the yesteryears.

I pulled the below quote from another piece of article on the internet and it precisely talks about how teams work — either in startups or sports.

On a sports team, athletes have each others’ back. They trust each other on the field. They might befriend each other, but they don’t have to. When a player doesn’t perform, the coach tries everything they can to support them. But when push comes to shove, they put them on the bench or let them go.

Startups aren’t family! Period.